Need a break!

Tired! I want a break from this stress! May be I am not sleeping too well. Lots and lots of demands from office as well as family. Cant compromise anywhere! Cant let anyone down! Am I the only one stuck in these kinds of problems... May be, May be not!

What I need is a distraction, may be a vacation! But, what to do, no vacation written in my fate for at least foreseeable future. Some other distraction needed... What can help? I tried reading and found some gems.. Loved a poem called "Summer Rain" by Deepa.
http://deepaspoems.blogspot.com/2011/02/summer-rain.html

That also couldn't distract me for long...What now? Is it too late to cook something. May be something simple, something delicious... What would that be? Let me follow my whim! Till we meet again!

The girl I used to be!

Today a friend, who is a full time mom, send me a poem titled "The girl I used to be". Another poems whose origin is unknown. I tried to google but only found some sites which has this poem, mostly inspirational quotes etc. Nowhere there is a mention of who actually wrote this! Anyway, poem is simple, but very inspirational or thought provoking!

There was something in this which tugged my heart, though I am not a mother. All of us had our dreams, hopes and plans! Where have we reached and are we happy with that? Can we confidently repeat the last two lines of the poem? For all those who don't know this poem!

She came tonight as I sat alone,
the girl I used to be,
And she gazed at me with her earnest eyes,
and questioned reproachfully,
Have you forgotten the many plans,
and hopes I had for you?
The great career,
the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height,
with all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you,
and the shining jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke,
I was very sad,
for I wanted her pleased with me,
This slender girl from the shadowy past,
the girl I used to be.

So gently rising,
I took her hand and guided her up the stairs,
Where peacefully sleeping,
my babies lay, innocent, sweet and fair,
And I told her that these are my only gems,
and precious they are to me,
That silken robe is my motherhood,
of costly simplicity,
And my mansion of stately height is love,
and the only career I know,
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls,
for the dear ones who come and go,
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
she smiled through her tears at me,
And I saw the woman that I am now,
pleased, the girl that I used to be!

Crying... Again?

I am crying! Again... As if it doesn't happen everyday! This is not a new story. But fact is that I am unhappy and I cant control myself from crying out. I can smile anymore for the world. May be I want to stop it all. Would I be a coward if I wish to end it all? May be! But then how do endure more?

I wish my dear ones understand me a bit more, love me a bit more and more over care to do that little bit for me! Am I asking too much? Am I not a simple girl with simple dreams and hopes? How long can I go on seeing all my dreams getting crushed as if it doesn't matter? May be it is too much to ask. But then the world around me does a lot more for their loved ones. May be I am not worth it!

And it definitely brings me back to my question! Is this life worth living? For what? For whom? And how long more? When I read all tragedies in paper, I wonder why God is sparing me. I have no wish to endure more... May be I cant! Sometimes I wonder why is this life so sadistic..

No answers anywhere... I hope the purpose of all this is lurking around in some corner... And it is worth it all.