Crying... Again?

I am crying! Again... As if it doesn't happen everyday! This is not a new story. But fact is that I am unhappy and I cant control myself from crying out. I can smile anymore for the world. May be I want to stop it all. Would I be a coward if I wish to end it all? May be! But then how do endure more?

I wish my dear ones understand me a bit more, love me a bit more and more over care to do that little bit for me! Am I asking too much? Am I not a simple girl with simple dreams and hopes? How long can I go on seeing all my dreams getting crushed as if it doesn't matter? May be it is too much to ask. But then the world around me does a lot more for their loved ones. May be I am not worth it!

And it definitely brings me back to my question! Is this life worth living? For what? For whom? And how long more? When I read all tragedies in paper, I wonder why God is sparing me. I have no wish to endure more... May be I cant! Sometimes I wonder why is this life so sadistic..

No answers anywhere... I hope the purpose of all this is lurking around in some corner... And it is worth it all.

Why women cry???

Let me share another forward which comes to your mailbox atleast once a year and sometimes more. All girls who read it love it and forward it to all special women in their lives. But beware! Guys think that this another emotional forward to show men in poor light! So, you have to be careful about the gender of the recipient, especially in this case.

Our forward goes, as below:

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put prayed to God who would surely know the answer.
When God responded he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be to be made special. I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

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Hmm... So, are you crying? Then, you are definitely a girl! Mushy stuff, right??
I also found another poem "Why women cry..." in the site: http://www.whywomencry.net/
It is compilation of stories, poems & positive responses for the cleansing of the eyes and the soul.

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WHY WOMEN CRY...

We cry because our toe hurts
We cry because our friends hurt
We cry because our hearts hurt by the ones we love the most
We cry because our loved one and moved to the West Coast

We cry because we're mensing and our hormones are in charge
We cry because our butt is small....or is it way too large?????

We cry because our parents tried to tell us what they knew
We cry because we didn't listen, now life tells us what to do
We cry because we're parents now and want to give our children more
We cry because our children have no clue of what's in store

We cry because we're angry, upset or in despair
We cry because we don't know why, and sometimes we don't care
We cry because God says we can and He put those feelings there ...

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Hahaha! Can't help laughing! Ya, you can take whatever way it is! I cry and I laugh as I please... It so easy to express your emotion and get over it! If you are sad or hurt, what is a better way than having a crying session and get over it? I really don't believe in bottling up my emotions... I would rather 'cry in the rain':-)

Ya, crying cannot sort out the issue. But then, crying can release the tension and emotions which needs an outlet. Once it is out, you can think about the situation without being emotional, then slice and dice it and come up with the best solution!

Anyway if you ask me there are two different questions - Why women cry? and why women cry so easily! You can come up with a complex scientific explanation for question no: 2... But then, how do you explain the first one?

Friend and secret keeper

Its so long since I wrote my last blog. Not that I don't have anything to write... Issue is time and time alone... How can I do all those things I love to do or hate to do but have to do in mere 24 hours? 1440 minutes? 86400 seconds? Impossible! That is my problem! Now, what I want to write today is about friends or friendship. I do not have any structure in my mind, but writing as I think.

I was just reading a forward today which goes like this....

" Sometimes in life, you find a special friend...

Someone who changes your life just by being part of it...

Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop...

Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it...... "

Hmm.. Ya, definitely. Some people come into your life and they stay! Some move on to find better things in life. No matter what happens, you are never the same. You may say that change is natural way of life and you can defend it and go on. Yes, but you willingly change for some people and you are forced in other cases. Whether the change made is making you a better person is the question here, I think. Positive influences and negative ones, exactly makes all the difference.

I have had many friends in my life. Never had a very close one... May be I never allowed anyone to come closer. May be, I was scared of sharing my inner most thoughts with anybody other than me, myself! But then all of us are not like that. People share everything, including the personal fears. Sharing makes the relationship better? I don't know... I can only say - May be! But then, most of my friends thought of me as their secret keeper. They shared their inner most thoughts and fears with me. I was careful with all those information. I was the guard, the secret keeper! People trusted me and I never broke the trust. My problem with sharing my issues may have been routed from this secret keeper business. If people trust me as their secret keeper, how can I find another secret keeper for myself. May be I never had the time to find one after solving everyones problems. May be I thought that their problems are so large and complex in comparison to mine and it is not worth the effort.

It is nice to be friends with so many people. Listen to people, help them overcome their fears, fight with them, make up and all the while observing the very basic human behaviour. Slowly you can even identify their feelings without words. As one of my friends say, identify them through their smell! If you ask me whether it is a burden, I don't have an answer. But then, sometimes you have to deal with jealousy, selfishness and above all possesiveness. I really don't care too much for these three areas especially when I'm a party to it! But then again, these also are a part and parcel of everday life.

Anyway, I remained as a friend to all, but without having a best friend. Not that I' m complaining. But then, sometimes you feel that you are becoming a complaint box. Hmm.. all for friendship! And it is one of the most beautiful relationships! A relationship to cheish!

I love rain!!!

I love rain! What about you?

I went to Kerala to enjoy rain, or should I say, rainy season... The season I love best!
Hmm... It was really nice..
Rain's playfullness, rain's fury, calm after a rain - What more should you witness to complete your rain experience?
Sitting in the veranda of my aunt's house, sipping hot tea and parippuvada(Channa dal vada)
(For recipe, check this link:
http://dailygirlblog.blogspot.com/2005/12/chana-dal-vada-parippu-vada.html)
I can't help my mouth watering in that memory... It was such a carefree moment with no thoughts other than how many more vadas can I eat:-)

I also took sometime to walk on the grass and feel the moisture on my bare feet. I walked in the drizzle and rain without an umbrella. The satisfaction I got in getting drenched was liberating. The lie I had to say why I got drenched was worth it.

I listened to the night rain and the changes in its rhythm. I watched that firefly who came into the room to escape the rain. Only thing I missed is the smell of rain! But then, I should say I have made enough memories to carry on till next year...

My love for rain took me to other blogs on rain...
I found another rain blog by Firefly which I would like to share: http://whileitrains.blogspot.com/
There are some 5-6 post but, the posts are really sweet...
If you are a rain lover and have some spare time, I think you should go through it...

Top of the world:-)

Today, I can feel the new rhythm in my steps....
The breeze which passes by is singing a new tune...
There are flowers everywhere....
Life has a new meaning...
I'm singing again!

What is happening to me? I'm just happy today... may be happy beyond all measures:-)
Life is simply beautiful and I just cant explain what I'm feeling now....
But why? Don't you get it?
I'm in love and fallen for you again...

It hurts

It hurts when people don't seem to care about you... May be seems is the key word. It is your perception, it need not be the truth. But still, it hurts. You feel lonely, unwanted!

There are few sides to this...

Scenario 1: People don't really care about you - Period
Scenario 2: People care about you, you dont realise it / believe that it is possible

Lets us see what it means and how you should see it...

Scenario 1: People don't really care about you - Period! Can you do something about that? If not, forget it! If yes, what are you waiting for if that is what you want. I would assume that you have a need to feel wanted and cared about. When people whom you care about don't care and hurt you - Won't you go all out and correct it? Make them love you, care about you, want you?? How you do it varies from person to person and situation to situation. Since you have a goal, things are easy!

Scenario 2: People care about you, you dont realise it/ believe that it is possible - What do I say? Ya, there are people who feel that they are not worth it and hence believe that nobody can possibly care about them and get hurt as the end result... I guess they are the ones who psycologists term as people with low self esteem! They are not confident or feel that they are beautiful or desirable or smart or whatever it is bothering them. What is is missing is self realisation. Chances are that you are not beautiful, but is that the only thing which is lacking? If so, understand your strengths and utilise them to your complete advantage. It may not help if the other person is bothered only about your beauty!

But is it worth getting hurt?? Dont you deserve better? What can be changed and what not?
May be you need to sit down and a SWOT analysis on your life! Tick those strengths, cross those weaknesses, search those opportunities and eliminate your threats! I know! It is not as simple as it seems. You need to ruthlessly brutal about this categorisation and act on it. What do you have to loose? A heart which is already broken / hurt cant be further hurt, right?

Give it a try. See the results... You may start believing in yourself!