Showing posts with label forward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forward. Show all posts

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Dear Husband



Husbands and wifes! You cannot live with out them nor love with them... Each person has their problems!

........................................................................
Dear Husband:


I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.


Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife


---


Dear Ex-Wife


Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.


Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.


When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.


After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.


My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.


So take care.




P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.


Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Enjoy the ride; there is no return ticket

Yet another forward! On a really different topic:-)

Aging!!! Isn't it a tried, tested and debated topic? What do you mean by that word? Wikipedia says the below:
"Ageing or aging (American English) is the accumulation of changes in an organism or object over time. Ageing in humans refers to a multidimensional process of physical, psychological, and social change. Some dimensions of ageing grow and expand over time, while others decline. Reaction time, for example, may slow with age, while knowledge of world events and wisdom may expand. Research shows that even late in life potential exists for physical, mental, and social growth and development. Ageing is an important part of all human societies reflecting the biological changes that occur, but also reflecting cultural and societal conventions. Age is usually measured in full years — and months for young children. A person's birthday is often an important event."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ageing


As the title says, Enjoy the ride...There is no return ticket in this matter.

George Carlin's Views on Aging???

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' 'I'm fourand a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then youturn30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But! Wait!!!You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, and REACH 50 and make it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into! your80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92. 'Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2.Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning.! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4.Enjoy the simple things.

5.Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7.Surround yourself with what you love,whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8.Cherish your health:If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting'...holy shit, what a ride!'

Now, as usual, about the author and controversies....

This forward is widely and wrongly attributed to George Carlin. Sounds like him but TruthOrFiction says no, see http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/carlin-on-aging.htm)

Anyway Carlin denied writing this forward in an interview. You can read it @ http://www.avclub.com/content/interview/george_carlin/3

Another site says that it is probably written by comedian "Larry Miller" http://www.snopes.com/glurge/aging.asp

His profile: http://www.tcm.com/thismonth/article/?cid=159698&mainArticleId=159696

Anyway there are multiple site which debates who wrote this. Some say it is Carlin's and some attribute it to Miller! No matter who wrote this, it is an interesting read!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Why women cry???

Let me share another forward which comes to your mailbox atleast once a year and sometimes more. All girls who read it love it and forward it to all special women in their lives. But beware! Guys think that this another emotional forward to show men in poor light! So, you have to be careful about the gender of the recipient, especially in this case.


Our forward goes, as below:

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put prayed to God who would surely know the answer.
When God responded he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be to be made special. I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."


----------------------------------------------------

Hmm... So, are you crying? Then, you are definitely a girl! Mushy stuff, right??
I also found another poem "Why women cry..." in the site: http://www.whywomencry.net/
It is compilation of stories, poems & positive responses for the cleansing of the eyes and the soul.

----------------------------------------------------

WHY WOMEN CRY...

We cry because our toe hurts
We cry because our friends hurt
We cry because our hearts hurt by the ones we love the most
We cry because our loved one and moved to the West Coast

We cry because we're mensing and our hormones are in charge
We cry because our butt is small....or is it way too large?????

We cry because our parents tried to tell us what they knew
We cry because we didn't listen, now life tells us what to do
We cry because we're parents now and want to give our children more
We cry because our children have no clue of what's in store

We cry because we're angry, upset or in despair
We cry because we don't know why, and sometimes we don't care
We cry because God says we can and He put those feelings there ...


----------------------------------------------------

Hahaha! Can't help laughing! Ya, you can take whatever way it is! I cry and I laugh as I please... It so easy to express your emotion and get over it! If you are sad or hurt, what is a better way than having a crying session and get over it? I really don't believe in bottling up my emotions... I would rather 'cry in the rain':-)

Ya, crying cannot sort out the issue. But then, crying can release the tension and emotions which needs an outlet. Once it is out, you can think about the situation without being emotional, then slice and dice it and come up with the best solution!

Anyway if you ask me there are two different questions - Why women cry? and why women cry so easily! You can come up with a complex scientific explanation for question no: 2... But then, how do you explain the first one?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Reason, season or lifetime!

Today, I was clearing the all forwards which I received last week. I again came across a beautiful and thought provoking one on friendship or relationships! The same old forward on how people come into your life for reason, season and lifetime... I 'm almost sure that most of us would have seen this at some point or the other. But then I can't help sharing it. It may be a crime if I don't! It goes as follows:

"A Reason, a Season, or a LifetimePeople come into your life for a reason, a season, ora lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, youwill know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It isusually to meet a need you have expressed. They havecome to assist you through a difficulty, to provide youwith guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like agodsend, and they are! They are there for the reasonyou need them to be.Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at aninconvenient time, this person will say or do somethingto bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die.Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realise is that our need has been met, ourdesire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer yousent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amountof joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; thingsyou must build upon in order to have a solid emotionalfoundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love theperson, and put what you have learned to use in allother relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown"

If you are interested in a musical one with images, check the below site:
http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/reason-season.php

Recently, I was looking for something and stumbled across the following link where people were trying to find who wrote these beautiful verses. I'm not sure who wrote it. But I read it first in 2002. So the claims that it was written in 2004 is wrong! It may have been written by " Brian A. "Drew" Chalker" as many sites claim. I cannot prove or disprove it! If you are interested in reading more on the controversy, you can check the below link.
http://www.anvari.org/fun/Misc/Reason_Season_Lifetime.html

No matter who wrote, it is one of my favourites. And the author has written a very thought provoking piece. And it makes me wonder, why and how long you are going to be in my life - A reason, a season or a lifetime!