Need a break!

Tired! I want a break from this stress! May be I am not sleeping too well. Lots and lots of demands from office as well as family. Cant compromise anywhere! Cant let anyone down! Am I the only one stuck in these kinds of problems... May be, May be not!

What I need is a distraction, may be a vacation! But, what to do, no vacation written in my fate for at least foreseeable future. Some other distraction needed... What can help? I tried reading and found some gems.. Loved a poem called "Summer Rain" by Deepa.
http://deepaspoems.blogspot.com/2011/02/summer-rain.html

That also couldn't distract me for long...What now? Is it too late to cook something. May be something simple, something delicious... What would that be? Let me follow my whim! Till we meet again!

The girl I used to be!

Today a friend, who is a full time mom, send me a poem titled "The girl I used to be". Another poems whose origin is unknown. I tried to google but only found some sites which has this poem, mostly inspirational quotes etc. Nowhere there is a mention of who actually wrote this! Anyway, poem is simple, but very inspirational or thought provoking!

There was something in this which tugged my heart, though I am not a mother. All of us had our dreams, hopes and plans! Where have we reached and are we happy with that? Can we confidently repeat the last two lines of the poem? For all those who don't know this poem!

She came tonight as I sat alone,
the girl I used to be,
And she gazed at me with her earnest eyes,
and questioned reproachfully,
Have you forgotten the many plans,
and hopes I had for you?
The great career,
the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height,
with all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you,
and the shining jewels in your hair?
And as she spoke,
I was very sad,
for I wanted her pleased with me,
This slender girl from the shadowy past,
the girl I used to be.

So gently rising,
I took her hand and guided her up the stairs,
Where peacefully sleeping,
my babies lay, innocent, sweet and fair,
And I told her that these are my only gems,
and precious they are to me,
That silken robe is my motherhood,
of costly simplicity,
And my mansion of stately height is love,
and the only career I know,
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls,
for the dear ones who come and go,
And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
she smiled through her tears at me,
And I saw the woman that I am now,
pleased, the girl that I used to be!

Crying... Again?

I am crying! Again... As if it doesn't happen everyday! This is not a new story. But fact is that I am unhappy and I cant control myself from crying out. I can smile anymore for the world. May be I want to stop it all. Would I be a coward if I wish to end it all? May be! But then how do endure more?

I wish my dear ones understand me a bit more, love me a bit more and more over care to do that little bit for me! Am I asking too much? Am I not a simple girl with simple dreams and hopes? How long can I go on seeing all my dreams getting crushed as if it doesn't matter? May be it is too much to ask. But then the world around me does a lot more for their loved ones. May be I am not worth it!

And it definitely brings me back to my question! Is this life worth living? For what? For whom? And how long more? When I read all tragedies in paper, I wonder why God is sparing me. I have no wish to endure more... May be I cant! Sometimes I wonder why is this life so sadistic..

No answers anywhere... I hope the purpose of all this is lurking around in some corner... And it is worth it all.

Limits in love

Does love has limits? I feel that there should be. When love becomes limitless, you forget yourself and live for the other person. What if that person has kept a limit? And they dont really care about what you do for them and sacrifice in life for them? I dont think I can survive a situation like that.

There are so many who are taken for granted in love. You keep giving without getting anything in return. How long will you carry on like that?

So long!

So long since I blogged... I blame it again on time!

Again, I decided to blog regularly! I guess I have to convince myself first and then spare that dedicated time... For me, writing helps me de-stress! Especially when the pressure blinds me and I feel like crying, best thing I can do is imagine myself in another world or write down what I feel. Both helps! Imagining can take your pain off temporarily and it definitely gives immediate relief. But then you have to return back to reality!

Writing down helps to compartmentalize issues and you can deal with a small portion at a time. It may take time, but it is a lasting solution for sure. The other day I was upset about not finding a job, which I really wanted. I can shed tears, but its not a solution... Thinking and writing down my priorities and needs helped me decide... I am now with renewed energy and strategies... I am not saying that negative thoughts don't creep up... They do and they are very persuasive. But then you have a destination in mind and with that you can fight back...

For restarting my blog, I think this is good enough:-) Till, I blog again, Good bye!

GM Diet - Day 7

My last day on GM diet!! Cant tell you how happy I'm!
I am allowed to eat the below:
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Day 7
Today your food intake will consist of 1 cup rice, fruit juice and the vegetables you care to consume.
Day 7
You may celebrate with champagne. You may also have white wine instead of champagne, but in al practical programs, and in all surveys done to measure the success of the program, General Motors employees have always preferred champagne to white wine.
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Today was little difficult without non-veg. But then, the thought that it is the last day on diet, helped me survive. I did not have champagne or wine. I had rice and veggies.

I will also write my thoughts on the diet later. I am tired today:-(

GM Diet - Day 6

Next two days are easy for me... I spent it with lot more ease.
Lets see what the diet plan says:-)

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Day 6
Today is another all vegetables day. You must eat 1 cup of rice today and eat all the vegetables you want cooked and uncooked to your hearts content.
Day 6
It is similar to five. Vitamins and fibre from the vegetables and carbohydrates from the rice. By now your system is in a total weight loss inclination. There should be a noticeable difference in the way you look today compared to day one.
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Non vegetarian version:
Day 6
Beef and vegetables. Today you may eat an unlimited amount of beef and vegetables. Eat to your hearts content.
Day 6
Similar to day five, Iron and proteins from beef, Vitamins and fibre from vegetables. By now your system is in a total weight loss inclination. There should be a noticeable difference in the way you look today, compared to day one.
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Like day 5, I survived on half cup rice, beef and loads of veggies. In my case, a little nonveg can make all the difference... It makes life worth living...

Now about weight loss, I have lost around 3 Kgs. Not much... I am not expecting much more after day 7.